whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
