Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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