im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently you make a good broom.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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