Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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