Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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