please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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