Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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