I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
