babies were throwing up all over the place
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
