i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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