I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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