I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
