Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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