Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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