the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize