I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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