At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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