She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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