There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
