I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
zippers are such a cool invention
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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