And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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