is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i already hear my dad disowning me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize