and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
