I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
