We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's official drugs can't kill me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.