weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize