dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
