i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
