I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
