All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
