I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
