Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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