I wannas sexs uuuuu
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
