An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
