Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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