So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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