I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
