No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize