just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
