thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
