Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
