But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
