its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
