The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How's work?
Spinning.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
