we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
