i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
