Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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