dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
