someone owes me an orgasm
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
