I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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