Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
