Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
