She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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