Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
