I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
