bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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