You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
