just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
