I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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