When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
