So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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