i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
