Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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