We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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