We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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