Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
