you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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