How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
