maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
